“A friend is a present you give yourself.” -Robert Louis Stevenson

 

     Do your friends share their wins and positive occurrences with you? Are you ready to listen and celebrate with them, or do you feel jealous of their news? When something wonderful happens to you, do you bask in the glow in solitude, or do you share your happiness and/or prosperity with friends? Nobody is suggesting that you boast, but that you award your friends and supporters with the opportunity to be happy for you and to rejoice in your successes.

     I have noticed that many people are more prone to complaining and want their friends to wallow in their misfortune with them. I know I have a few friends who only call me when they are at low points and they seem to find solace in spreading around their melancholy and agony. Unfortunately for them, this mulch of misery is so thick, there is little room for anything positive and life affirming to grow out from under it. I like being there for people who are important to me, but at times, after they have unloaded all of their suffering and misery from one huge wheelbarrow, I need to race to do something life affirming and deliberate to let the sun shine in for me. I find I have to work at not getting covered and enveloped by their clouds of doom, which can fog up my own vision like a pesticide.

     Everyone needs a safe and trusted person to unburden to once in a while. I believe, though, that it would be so much nicer for me and for my friends if we could enjoy each other’s victories, triumphs and accomplishments more often.

     When was the last time you felt true happiness when a friend did let you in on an important win?  How did you communicate your delight and pride to him or her? Did you have feelings of envy? What did you do with those feelings? Did you acknowledge them to yourself? Did you learn anything from them? What did you do to get past them?

     How often do you let people in when good things happen for you? Do you complain more than you rejoice? We are all guilty of this occasionally but if this is a perpetual state of being for you, what steps will you take to change this? Is there a friend you can ring up today with whom you will commit to sharing something wonderful? It needn’t be monumental, but just something that makes you feel good. What are some ways you can design to invite friends to join you in acknowledging and honoring something good in your life?

3 Ideas for Less Complaining and More Positive Sharing

        1. Make a game out of turning every negative thought into a more positive one. Write them down and give yourself a reward when you reach 50.

        2. Invite a friend to celebrate a win you have had with a special lunch, dessert, or glass of wine. Make an advance rule that this time is only for celebrating.

        3. Send a friend a nice card or note for no reason, saying how proud you are of him/her and how much you love hearing when things go well in his/her life, though you know he or she has had obstacles to overcome.